One year on

Earlier this month I had the absolutely terrifying revelation that in merely one year, I will be a qualified nurse with a job and keys to the drug trolley. ... hmm. Quite scary. Two years ago, I was completing my music degree. ... now I just feel old. I'm all seriousness, the one year thing…

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Rose Cottage

"Hello, I'm calling from Ward &&. We have a patient for Rose Cottage if you could come and collect them please, thank you!" I'm in two minds about this post, so I'm warning you now: this is my reaction to my first death today. I am not going into detail, it's purely my thoughts and…

Farewell Sunday Nunday

As you may have gathered from my last post, Sunday was the abrupt end of caring for my nun. I was so heartbroken. The end of the day was so painful. Yet again I just had to stop driving to cry my eyes out. I feel as if I'm in a semi-grieving state, which is…

Reasons to be Cheerful

I believe that is the title of a poem. I don't have the effort, energy, or inclination to double check. All of my effort was used to get out of bed, get dressed, and drive to work. That's it. I was still late, but only by 5 minutes and I could blame it on the…

It’s the small things

... and so, the day has ended with me stuffing (the correct dose of) antidepressants into my mouth. Strangely, it's one of the hardest things I've had to do. I didn't really struggle waking up this morning. Truth be told, I naturally woke up at 0403, a whole hour before my alarm. I was on…

Dreaming

Again, a long gap between posts. Again, for good reasons. However this isn't entirely good. On paper all is fantastic. All is amazing. I'm flying at placement, I'm flying in university, I'm flying everywhere. But I can't sleep. I can't smile. I'm starting to struggle. There's a weight on my chest that just wants to…

Two Thousand and Eighteen

I've lost track. I'm not sure when, or what, I last posted... and I'm not going to look either. Because quite frankly, I don't want to know. If it's negative, I don't want to know. If it's positive, great but I don't really care. This is the first of many years that I will be…

It’s the smallest steps, one at a time

A very close friend of mine had to be a superhuman for the billionth time this week. This person is, quite frankly, amazing: brave, clever, determined, and alive. It's people like that who make impacts on us. They have to fight through so much and yet they still keep pushing the boundaries of themselves, physically…