I did (half) a thing

It's not a full thing, but it's not a small insignificant thing really. Not for me anyway. Last night I introduced someone I trust to this blog. They have a link to it and can read anything at any time. I've debated doing something like this for a long time, with the fear of feeling…

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Every Holiday

I've never understood why Christmas is a hard time, never properly understood. I don't find it easy... but I don't really know why. I guess there's family, putting such an extreme face on and just... faking everything if you're able. If you're not able... I guess it's worse than every other time you can't because…

Hypocrite

I spent half of my time with my last patient today telling her that it was alright to feel upset and miserable without decent reason. That it was ok to cry without knowing why. That it was ok to not want to do anything. That it was ok to feel completely alone and fear physically…

I’m all shook up (Ahh-ah-ah)

If you get the song reference in the title, I like you. For the first time ever I considered deleting a blog post yesterday purely because it ended very badly and I'm trying to not relive the moment endlessly. But that would be wrong: it happened, it was how I was feeling, I needed to…

I broke my deal

I made a deal with someone a while ago that if they didn't break their half, I wouldn't cut. Tonight I picked up a knife (they broke theirs a lot so... I've actually done pretty well) At the end of this post I will decide whether I'm going to use it or not so just…

Tear my heart out

So that happened today. To start with I woke up in an incredibly dark place as you can probably imagine. I was creating scenarios for everything and on the way to work contemplates just driving to the hospital and getting myself admitted because I was not safe. Then I went to my third patient of…

Life in the World: 2/2

... now for the bad. I had a concert tonight. That should sum it up. After my nun post I actually felt lighter and now I feel like gravity had increased its force on me. Long story short; I was fine, got my concert jacket out, someone took concert jacket, I panicked, hid, and now…

Life in the Convent; 1/2

I can't bear to write about the bad. Not with this, not with the pure good that I have experienced this week. This is post one of two; what is good about life Despite what the title may suggest, I have not joined a convent. I have simply been working in one with the sweetest,…