What happens to things that go up?
They go down.
Right now I should be starting a major incident exercise with the boat. I’m in bed instead.
Why am I in bed?
Because of who I am.
Feels like that anyway. I know it isn’t, but it feels like it.
I got a phone call last night informing me that I’m non-operational again, this time indefinitely. My first response was shock; everything had been going so well, they were pleased with me, why had this happened?
I don’t feel like I can go into details right now, I’m raw and hurting and broken. I’ve lost the best thing in my life again due to my health. It hurts just as much and I felt my heart breaking as I was told.
The decision was made out of concern but it doesn’t make it easier, especially as I know they were wrong: I was strong enough, I was able, I could deal with it. Note the past tense.
I can’t deal with it now.
But I will. If I do something as a response then they were right. If I break down, they were right. If I go back a few months, they were right.
I am going to prove that they were, and are, wrong.
To do that I simply need to
- Get on with my new educational role that they have created for me and be incredible at it
- Keep climbing up my spiral, just keep climbing
- Keep being amazing at my job
- Not give in
Easy peasy. Brace yourself boys, you don’t know what’s going to hit you.