… or hang myself.

This is the first time I haven’t turned to my blog first, before anything else. I’ve called Samaritans seven times now, I can’t call anymore. 

I don’t want to call my team because a) they’ll be asleep, b) if there’s a proper callout they’d be needed, and c) the one I’d call got married today. Can’t call them.

I can’t call my friends because they’d freak. 

I’m stuck. In a dark place. I’m sat on the pavement leant against a pillar crying because I can’t cope I can’t do this. 

I can’t call out for help anywhere except here. 

I can’t call for help because… well, you don’t know me. 

I’m lost and silent and suicidal. 

I’m desperate.

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