… or hang myself.
This is the first time I haven’t turned to my blog first, before anything else. I’ve called Samaritans seven times now, I can’t call anymore.
I don’t want to call my team because a) they’ll be asleep, b) if there’s a proper callout they’d be needed, and c) the one I’d call got married today. Can’t call them.
I can’t call my friends because they’d freak.
I’m stuck. In a dark place. I’m sat on the pavement leant against a pillar crying because I can’t cope I can’t do this.
I can’t call out for help anywhere except here.
I can’t call for help because… well, you don’t know me.
I’m lost and silent and suicidal.