Sometimes we need to be told that it’s ok to not be yourself. It’s ok to not be able to smile, to not be able to hold up a persona and to not be able to hide everything away, whether it’s a physical or emotional difference.

Sometimes we need a hug. Just someone there, not necessarily saying anything but just being. The warmth and contact of another human who is holding on to you, creating the psychological message that they don’t want you to go; they don’t want anything to happen to you. Also, hugs.

Sometimes a text or a message is all it takes.  Someone is at the end of that line, and each message could be a lifeline. Someone is noticing, someone could be caring about what happens. People can be rendered to the point where talking isn’t an option. In those cases, texting may be one of the few ways they’re able to communicate.

Sometimes we need a more public outlet. People vilify and condem those who post on social media or who reach out, but what good is that? Not everyone is capable of creating a coherent message to send to someone they trust. Putting something publicly may be the only way they can ask for help at that time. After all, how long is it until you next go ‘attention seeking’ with your next misfortune? Shaming doesn’t help.

Sometimes we need to stop. Just stop. We get called lazy, uncaring, unmotivated… doesn’t help.

Sometimes we need to do everything humanly possible so we don’t have a second for our thoughts to catch up. We get called stupid, crazy, reckless… doesn’t help.

Sometimes we’re afraid. Afraid of being a problem, of turning to people so much that they will start sighing and turning away. Afraid that the next time we don’t have anyone there will be the breaking point. Afraid that we’ll jump, we’ll swallow, we’ll cut… we’ll do whatever we need to do.

Humans are complex and what one person has to do will never be the same for anyone else. Not even a trained professional can accurately decide what someone needs to do to feel safe or cared for. Don’t judge. Everyone has different levels at which they break down and can’t carry on. Try not to turn your back, even though it’s hard try and make sure there is something. You have no idea what has happened and you may never know. 

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