You think you know desperation; the stress it entails, the panicking, frantic beating of your heart; the sick feeling in your stomach.
Every time you get desperate is far worse than the last. Quite simply, we adapt. As humans we adapt and learn. If there is a good outcome, you anticipate another good one because the last one ended well. If it doesn’t, you go one stage back, but every time we get desperate it is a worse situation than the last.
At the minute I’m desperate because it is not an exaggeration to say that my degree is in jeopardy.
Music student. Final Recital. My accompanist has backed out.
In the space of 10 days I need an accompanist who can learn, rehearse, and perform my programme. Which is nigh upon impossible (again, no exaggeration). Without an accompanist my programme will not work as a performance and my mark will be massively handicapped.
I cannot deal with this. I have gone through too much these past few years for it to be risked by one performance (albeit a fairly major one). I am not going to give up now but I’m being left with no option: I simply cannot walk out on that stage without an accompanist. If you’re a musician, you’ll know, if not, it’s akin to walking into an exam without a pen or pencil (or any other equipment you may need) and you are not allowed to borrow anything.
It’s impossible and I’m desperate and on the verge of giving up.
(If you happen to know an absolutely brilliant pianist in York, please pass them on to me)
UPDATE: This blog is magic. Between 2017 and 2033 I had 3 accompanist’s say yes