Who can answer that for the human race?
Personally I self-harm to give myself a focus, as an attempt to release negative energy that’s building up. I can go months without doing anything but then it becomes an urge, a need. I can’t ignore it.
That’s what happened tonight. I’ve been very close to serious harm recently and I… I don’t even know.
I can’t say.
I just need to.
But it also means I’ll need to apologise to anyone who sees. I’ll need to apologise to myself in the future. I need to apologise to you right now because you’re reading this.
I met someone once who said that self-harm in made their illness real. I have a degenerate cardiac condition.
Others say it’s so they feel something. I mostly cut on the arm that I haven’t been able to feel since an accident when I was 12.
It’s also apparently a cry for help. My cries for help come in literal cries for help.
I have no reason to self-harm, but I do. I’ve been told multiple reasons as to why I do and have in the past, but they don’t fit. I don’t fit the mold. I’m not trying to say I’m unique or special, I’m just saying that there can be no reason as to why we self-harm.
We just need to.
*I’m sorry this post is very jumbled and doesn’t make sense. I’ve had a horrible evening and am currently being ganged up on for trying to do the right thing for a committee by that committee… so I’m crying quite a bit. Sorry.