I have a very difficult thing to do today; not for me, for someone else. I have to gather one last bit of proof that they are faking a (quite serious) illness.

I hate doing this, I don’t want to do this, I want to believe them but I can’t. My brain won’t let me because nothing adds up, nothing makes sense, nothing… fits.

I know, I’m a cow for thinking this, but trust me, if you were in my place… it’s so neon bright that it can’t be what she’s saying it is. 

But hey. I know I’m a horrible person but I need this proof. This person needs to be awoken from this and they need to get help (neither of which will happen, but at least if they know I’ve gotten everything I’d need to go to the university and say ‘We told you to help us, now look at this and tell me what is genuine’ then… I don’t even know).

To tell the truth I don’t know how I’ll proceed. They have a doctor’s letter as a diagnosis (yes, apparently told by a letter that doesn’t have a medical logo (private health) on, makes no mention of supposed medication changes, and discharges her there and then. Sorry, that does not fit), and they’ve been doing their stunt for nearly a year now. It’s established in everyone’s minds, and I believed it until discrepancies started to show through. I’m not talking small things that can happen, I mean complete symptom changes after seeing the doctor for the first time. 

I don’t know what to do when I have it, but I need to put my own mind at rest. Not knowing has been stressing me out for months. I don’t know how to follow up, how to broach the subject with them or others, I don’t know how to do anything. 

Except gatherinformation. But what use is that when I don’t know what to do with it.

I’m a horrible person.

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