Well that could have gone better

Yesterday was one of the worst concerts I have ever performed. To top it off, it was the concert with my idol as well - absolutely fabulous. Let's start from the beginning... I was having to travel back from Kings Lynn that morning after a family visit and my first train was cancelled, meaning I…

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Difficult times must be forgotten

I've had a rough time with my memory the last few days. I've been forgetting little things that are actually fairly major in their own context. I was told a few months ago now by my psychologist about dissociative amnesia and how, from my experiences, there was little doubt that I had that at points…

I can fly

I've a bit of good news for a change. Life is still the same really, a bit dark and... me, but something good has happened. I wrote a post a few weeks ago about being at the British Open Brass Band Championships in Birmingham, and about being around some of my idols in the brass…

The world is black

Lifeless. Dull. Dead. Dying. Swamped. These are all words that can describe me right now. Some literally, some not so literally.  I am lifeless because of depression. I am dull because of depression. I seem dead because of depression. I am dying because of a degenerative condition. I am swamped by depression. If I was…

Ups and Downs make Life Worth Living? Huh

It's been a while since I've poured myself out on here. A few reasons for that, but please don't ask me because I don't know what they are. I'm having a roller coaster of a time. I'm stressed, my heart is getting stressed, my brain is getting stressed, all of me is stressed. It's only…