A note to myself

This is a list for me when I next see someone. Anyone. My cardiologist, my GP, counsellor, Open Door at university, anyone who has the ability to help me. I'm in my room on the Isle of Wright. I'm still awful mentally (post yesterday, I can't go into it now). I've also learnt today that…

It doesn’t work

I'm writing this from a different haven of... the Isle of Wright. Exciting. I wish I was writing this from my usual hovel though. I was really looking forward to this week away. I needed it. I'm exhausted from my job and was looking forward to a family break. At 11 this morning I was…

It was going so well

I have no mental energy to write anything other than a list, so here goes: I've had a false insurance claim made against me but have no proof that I'm not to blame. Bang goes insurance. Pancreas is misbehaving still. I can do nothing right at the minute. I'm quite depressed anyway without these three…

A change of direction

Today started as a slightly nervous wreck. Well no, it started off with me being in bed beyond 0630 which was lovely. This is because today I was not working on the farm, but performing with one of my bands. If I'm honest, I haven't played with them since September (I had a bit of…

Exceeds Expectations 

So I toddled to the doctors today. Fun trip. Not. My surgery has a sit and wait clinic, where you can turn up in the morning and get put on a list to see a doctor that morning. It's very useful if you can't wait for an appointment. I was, of course, going for my…

What is life if everything goes right?

I am shattered. Not just from work, but yesterday I was marching at Durham Miners Gala in... Durham, surprisingly! It was fantastic, despite the 4am start! Argh, the atmosphere, the banding 'insults', the people, it was really a day to remember.  I love brass bands. I really do. It was also a day to remember…

Well that’s new

Something very odd happened yesterday. To sum my day up; I cycled to work (18 miles), 8 hour shift, cycled home. I'd eaten lunch, a snack bar for breakfast, dinner. I'd drunk a bottle of lucozade, 2 bottles of water, 2 hot chocolates. I went to band. Around 19:30 I started to feel odd; my…

To be public or not to be public.

This isn't really about my health, or anything that's happened today or in the previous days. This post is an ongoing conflict: one I have mentioned before. As I've previously said, and it was quite clear, I am an anonymous writer. This is so I can express myself freely without repercussions, without people I know…