I’ve cracked a rib. Again. Not in a kayak this time though, which is an improvement.

I’ve had a tough week again. Nothing too horrific has happened, but as anyone should know depression strikes when it pleases. I’ve had panic attacks, moments of complete hopelessness and I just haven’t been me. Not needed.

I also had a funky night when my pulse dropped down to 35bpm, that was an interesting experience. Good thing I was already lying down I say.

Oh well. Positives, positives…

Many good things have happened this week. I had a nice morning with my mum. Brass band sports day. I had a good hand in and a good workshop. Today I’ve perfected a large part of Monday’s hand in. I had ‘Nobody in particular’ (sorry, I can’t create a link to you on my phone!) nominate me for the versatile blogger award, and reading what she commented about it was heart warming yet also rather sad; I wouldn’t wish a tough life on anyone. It can get better though ‚̧

I've got three days until my final hand in. I've got to keep it together for three more days. That's all.

I don't think I can do it. I just feel myself slipping. I'm trying my best to cling to me, but it's hard. I look back on each day, and every day this week there have been more times when I've thought to myself 'That wasn't me'. People have noticed as well, that's the worst bit. Some I don't mind, like my friends, but others who just make comments about it are slightly more unwelcome to notice.

I've just got to keep eating, sleeping, and working. That'll get me past Monday. Then I can fall to pieces for four months.

Oh help.


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