So, an interesting week.
Yeah. Mental health hasn’t improved much, but it hasn’t deteriorated which is something.
Friday was not fun. We had a sit down and talk as a group with our first year me and tell her some quite hard home truths. I was definitely bad cop, which is fine I can do that. But when someone is crying and saying things to make you feel guilty about that and trying to make you feel worse by saying more about it, its hard. But we did it, and it may have had a positive effect. We’ll see if she does anything to help her situation from now on.
That wasn’t fun. Sunday, a different story… my first contest! Not even with my own band, I was depping, but still, my first contest and it’s one of the prestigious ones; the All English International Masters (yes it’s a slight oxymoron). I made a complete hash of my part, but overall it was good and we didn’t come last! A rather lovely introduction to contesting, however intense it is.
Good things always happen though, and a very very good thing has somehow happened to me; I have a boyfriend. Not only that, but a boyfriend who knows how broken I am, physically and mentally, but still loves me for who I am. I don’t think there are words to explain how blessed that makes me feel.
I’m not quite back into writing yet. Things are still precarious, but I’m getting there. I’m safe and I’ve got the support I need.
I’ll live again.