Things are imploding, it’s the big bang of my life. Yes I’m being over dramatic.

Someone went to the university over Easter, I’ve gotten over that. Sadly one of my friends had to call security on Sunday though, and that hasn’t ended well.

Little back story… I’m still depressed, bordering suicidal. I hate this. I hate that I worry people so much they get pushed in to doing something that will make it worse. Been in that position recently, it’s horrible.

I’ve had an email telling me about a meeting, and I now have a horrible dilemma. I can tell them what’s been making me so stressed and having an adverse reaction on my health, or I risk taking the brunt and repeating last year.

Telling the truth would be telling them about my fainting friend who doesn’t help herself, and I don’t know if I can do that. It’ll bring it all crashing down on her head instead.

Thing is, we’ve already tried to tell them, all of them, and we’ve just been brushed off. It really is one rule for one and one for another. That’s making this speedy action all the more painful.

I’m sorry, this post is very disjointed. I just feel like I’ve got so much to write down, it’s all trying to come out at once. I’m currently lying on my bed, half crying, half wanting to scratch my eyes out, and I feel so lost and black I don’t know where to turn. I want to cut everyone out. I want to be alone but I want to be held and to be told that b it’ll be ok, even though I know it won’t.

I want to be normal and I want to be dead.

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