My third term starts tomorrow, and I’m at my psychologist in the morning. Good start eh.
Things aren’t going well at all. At some point this holiday, someone I trust went to the university and, it seems, gave them a very entertaining story about how I started to struggle last term. I don’t even know who, but what they gave shows that I trusted them. Anyone I’ve asked has denied telling anything, so they’re also lying between to my face. The result, I am back to stage 2 of the fitness to study. To put that into context, stage 2 last year I was suspended.
I’m unbelievably hurt. It’s not that someone has gone behind my back, it’s that they’re also lying about having done so. If they admitted it along with a good reason, I’d like to think I wouldn’t mind as much. They’re not my minders, they can’t be expected to deal with me all the time.
But how can I talk to anyone, open up to them when I don’t know where what I say could end up? I’m starting this term alone and depressed, and I honestly didn’t think I would be.
Yeah, the depressed bit. This blog is going to be used quite a bit I imagine in the coming weeks.
I don’t know what to do, what to write. I feel empty and blank. I just feel like I have nothing.
Time keeps passing and I’m just sat staring at my screen. I’ll leave it there. No point racking my brains to find something to write, if it’s not there it’s not there.