Hand in day tomorrow. I have nothing that’s worth anything to give.

I’m just ready to give up. I won’t achieve anything. My long term goals are unachievable, let alone my short term ones. I’ve got nothing to give tomorrow, and I’m wanting a way out. I just want out. Because I can’t go through another year that is starting exactly like the last. The only thing that’s different is it was 5th January. This year it’s the 4th. But the same thing is going to happen, the same derailment. I almost want it to, because then maybe she’ll end it, take the part of me that wants this cycle to finish and listen to it.

I don’t know what I want. I don’t care about anything. I’m not feeling anything. I’ve lost me. And I hate it.

I feel so alone.

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4 thoughts on “Deadline

  1. You are not alone. I promise.
    I wasn’t able to read through all of your posts, but you are clearly experiencing a significant amount of distress, and for that I’m so sorry. Dealing with low mental health or a mental illness is not an easy thing, in fact, it can be incredibly painful…or sometimes make a person entirely numb.
    Do you need someone to talk to? I can listen :).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your offer. I can’t talk to people though, it gives me a face and I just can’t do it. But thank you, it does mean a lot that strangers are willing to help. I’m here if you need to talk as well, or anyone

      Like

      1. Alright! Well the offer always stands. There are also many anonymous resources you can try, like hotlines and websites.Take care, friend.

        Liked by 1 person

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