I’m in a very desperate place, the most desperate I’ve been since starting this blog. I don’t even know why, my trombone got fixed today, I had a glowing tutorial with my lecturer, and a good gym session. Walking home I just became down, very very down. ‘I’m scared’ sort of down. I’m glad my antidepressants are nearly out, or it would nearly be too tempting. I feel alone, I feel lost, I feel desperate, I’m feeling so many things and I can’t place them. I want to hurt myself but I don’t because people will see. I just don’t see anything to give me a reason to live. Everything’s just falling to pieces and I can’t hold it together, I can’t hold myself together. I need help but I can’t turn to anyone. Why am I so broken?


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