I am lost.
I don’t know what to do.
I have my doctors appointment tomorrow, and I don’t know what to say. I ought to be honest about how I’m feeling, but that might set things off like last year. But if I don’t mention it, things could take a turn for the worst and it’ll end up like last year again, only worse. I don’t know what to do. Best case scenario, I mention it, and my medication is either changed or I’m given a larger dose, which I think could be likely. I just can’t get the worst case scenario out of my head. It won’t go.
I’m also worried about the bruises. I looked it up on the tinternet in relation to my medication and the NHS site said that I should mention to my doctor if I suddenly start bruising easily on this medication. So do I mention that and risk getting a note of self harm on my record? They’re not normal bruises, they’re not small, they’re huge. I want to be able to mention them without feeling judged, but I can’t.
I don’t know what to do. If I don’t mention these things then the consequences are my fault. If I do mention these things, the consequences could be the same anyway. It’s keeping me awake tonight. That and this cough which is really aggravating my heart. My housemate is developing something as well, and I’m worrying about her (she’s diabetic) and if she gets really ill again (it’s happened before). Too much worry, too much scared.
I don’t know where to go from here.
I feel lost.