I like oboes really.
Still as flat as a pancake emotion wise. The sertraline is working at least. I’m not panicking in lectures or rehearsals, and can generally go about day to day things without much interruption mentally.
But flatness. When I wake up, flat, in lectures, flat, with friends, flat. Flat flat flat. It’s demoralising. I don’t want to do anything until I’ve done it.
I have found a way to feel something though… exercise.
It’s my new best friend.
Seriously, every bit of sport I’ve done has left me on cloud nine for a bit. I love it. Doing activities with the rowing team and kayak team, and on my own in the pool and the gym. It makes me feel fantastic, and I bet it’s doing my heart a lot of good as well! Unfortunately, it takes a lot of effort to make myself go. Feeling nothing doesn’t really help motivation… but it’s good.