I’ve been thinking again/discovering not so nice things.

First of all, there was the discovery that someone thinks I’m not worth helping, which has broken me slightly. I thought I could rely on this person, especially as they have problems themselves. I’m not going to dwell on it too much. If they think I’m not worth it, then there’s not much I can do about that. It hurts though. A lot.

Moving on though. Other things are taking shape. My lectures are going well. My doctor is pleased with me. The meeting at the Student’s Union was most unexpected… it was the kindest and most understanding meeting I’ve had with them. It was a boost, a real boost. I’d been dreading it, but left with a smile.

The sertraline has settled down. I’m no longer an emotional wreck. I don’t feel a lot to be honest, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing now.

So this week had been good. Until this not so nice reading from this person, I felt pretty stable. But like I said, no dwelling on that. They can think what they like, and I just hope nobody thinks that about them.

I’ve been thinking more about the future. I’m set on this masters of music education. I’m also set on doing it in Australia. I want to get away, to escape and do something I love. It’ll be a lot of work, but I can do it. When I set my heart on something I don’t lose it. I want to change things for the better, and I’m going to.

This goal also gives me a reason to live. God knows I need one of those.

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