North Yorkshire Prats – **TRIGGER WARNING**

Massive trigger warning for this post. I cannot warn enough, please be careful. I am often proud that the person who writes this blog is the real me. It has been from the beginning: anything I've needed to rant about, needed to get off my chest, needed to think about, it's been on here because…

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It’s the smallest steps, one at a time

A very close friend of mine had to be a superhuman for the billionth time this week. This person is, quite frankly, amazing: brave, clever, determined, and alive. It's people like that who make impacts on us. They have to fight through so much and yet they still keep pushing the boundaries of themselves, physically…

I’m crying.

Ok, so this isn't good. Over a week since my operation now and I'm still zombied. Not all of the time, which is brilliant, but even the smallest exersion has the ability to floor me. It varies; Friday was, thankfully, good but today is particularly bad. I haven't left my room, even lying down I'm…

I feel fake

Shock horror, this is not a post primarily about mental health. On Friday I had a minor operation which, long story short, is going to help headaches and breathing. Didn't exactly go to plan, but I still got home on Saturday. Since then all had been ok, aside from the expected pain, bleeding... and absolute…

… what just happened?

Ok. I'm not sure what day it is, but it's 0140 in the morning. I'm on night shift 2 of 3, and I'm somehow still awake and functioning. Taking primary care of a tracheotomy that keeps deflating (yay). No, I have not abandoned my patient to blog: I'm sat in the corner of the room.…

Life’s Crossroads

We all know the image of the lost person standing at the crossroads, with signs pointing in every direction. That's where I was, at 1300 yesterday as I left the train station. I was stressed: 'occupational health' is... it's... ugh. I can't remember a single meeting like this that has gone well. I can't remember…

This really is happening

I think the initial 'ohgoshwhyIhateeverythingwhyagain' phase has ended. I have accepted that, yet again, I am going to have to prove to a group of disbelieving people that I am not a crazy, axe-wielding murderer (... it feels like that anyway). Thing is, thinking rationally I am in a much better stance to do that.…

Lightning Strikes Twice

Ok. Last year I had a whole load of s**t with a volunteer group in York. At the end of it, their trustee suggested I go to a different group that do a very similar job. They've been fantastic they really have. I was open from the start, which was really hard. It seems to…

Coffee and a book

Still not sleeping. I do, however, have over-the-counter recommendations from friends so I am trying those tonight. Please bring on some sleep. I'm wanting to write but guess what! No idea what about. I'm too sleep deprived and have had too much caffeine to be able to comprehend thinking. I have managed to do my…

Friday: Part 3

Well the past eleven days have been fun. Kind of. Sort of. Maybe. I have so many things going around in my head. I started this all as one post but it became MASSIVE so we are splitting it up. Welcome, ladies and gentleman, to part three; my (not very) grand finale. Now I turn…